Category Archives: ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH ?

Traders ‘ordered to close shops for UVF gun-running march’

TRADERS in Larne have been ordered to close their doors to mark the 100th anniversary of the UVF gun-running plot next week, it has been claimed.

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Thousands of loyalists will take to the streets of the Co Antrim town to mark the anniversary of the arms smuggling plot, known as Operation Lion, which took place on the night of April 24 1914. Thousands of weapons were smuggled into the port town on the ship Clyde Valley before being distribued to UVF units across the North of Ireland as the Home Rule crisis deepened. Up to 80 bands and 12,000 participants are expected to take part in next Saturaday’s anniversary parade, organised by the Operation Lion 2014 Centenary Committee. While the committee is understood to be made up of people from different backgrounds, (no the UVF is not a racist organisation we love eveyone so long as you are White and not Catholic), the majority of those expected to attend the parade are thought to be supporters of the UVF’s political wing the PUP – which offers political advice to the to the modern illegal UVF. Earlier this month the RUC/PSNI accused the UDA of being on a “power trip” when 100 loyalists rioted in Larne. A spokesman for Larne Borough Council confirmed that it gave the organising committee £2,000 to found a “number of events and educational programme in relation to the history of Operation Lion”. The council is also “erecting a plaque on the monument to mark the centenary as it did on the 75th anniversary at an event which will take place on April 24″.

 

East Antrim Shame Fein MLA Oliver McMullan, pictured above, said traders had been told to close for the day. “One of the traders that told us he said ‘what can you do? You dare not go against it’,” Mr McMullan, said. “I hope no bother comes out of it as there is considerable tension in Larne at the minute.” Mr McMullan’s comments come just weeks after he claimed that several businesses in Larne were ordered to hand over £200 to help fund the commemorition. Larne PUP the political wing of the UVF represtative Jonathan Hodge dismissed claims that businenessess had been told to close. “The Operation Lion Cetenary event is a special occasion for Larne that will bring thousands of visitors to the town,” he said. “This is a family-oriented event with vintage vehicles and period costume, many activites and workshops for children and it will reach out to people from all community backgrounds (so long as they are not from a Catholic background). “It will be a very busy day for local businesses, providing a welcome boost in trade. The suggestion that anyone would ask them to close is rudiculous.”

With many thanks to: Connla Young, The Irish News.

NO JUSTIFICATION FOR PAY HIKE INSISTS INDEPENDENT COUNCILLOR

THE BIG FAT GREEDY FOLK’S ON THE HILL DEFENDING THEIR 40% PAY RISE!

‘There is no justification for any increase – Independent councillor Brian Wilson.

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AN INDEPENDENT councillor says there is “no justification” for increasing the salary of members elected to the new ‘super councils’.

Councillors are to benefit from a pay rise of more than 40 per cent when the 26 local authorities are reorganised into 11 larger councils. At present, councillors receive £9,835 per year and those elected in May will receiv an annual salary of £14,200. Brian Wilson, who has been a councillor for 33 years is a former Green Party assembly member, said councillors are already “significantly overpaid” in comparsion to their counterparts in England. “There is no justification for any increase,” said the North Down councillor. Mr Wilson said second-tier local aauthorities in England have similar powers to the North’s new super councils and members are paid less than £5,000. He said the 11 councils were only due to receive “minimal” new powers, “despite grossly inflated claims”. The environment minister said the wage increase had been decided following recommendations by an independent panel plus consultation. The panel’s November 2013 report recommended that councillors are paid a basic allowance of £12,000, and those in the largest local authorities should receive an extra 10 per cent.

Envioronment Minister Mark H Durkan set the annual salary at £14,200. The panel also recommanded, based on council electorate size, that any councillor who chairs a committee receive either an additional £5,000 to £9,000 per annum while the mayor or chair of each local authority would receive an additional £15,000 to £27,000. A further £1,000 in office support allowance was also recomnended and has been agreed by the minister. Mr Durkan has also decided to double the carer’s allowance available to councillors “to encourage increased participation by those with caring responsibilities”. The standard allowance will rise to £329 a month while the specialist allowance will be £658 a month. At present the standard monthly carer’s allowance for members of the public is £420. A dependant is categorised as a child under 16; a child aged 16 and over where there is medical or social work evidence that they require fulltime care; an adult with a recognised mental or physical disability where there is medical or social work evideince of full-time care is required or an elderly relative requiring full-time care. The SDLP and Alliance said the pay rise had been set following consultation and reflected increased roles and responsibilities. Alliance said it was “up to the electorate to decide on May 22 who will work hard and provide the best value for money”. Shame Fein said the role of new counillors was “similar in nature to a full-time role” yet remuneration “falls shorter than an average full-time wage”. “Councillors within the North of Ireland will still receive smaller allowances than their counerparts in the rest of Ireland, England, Scotland or wales,” a spokesman added ( He must be living in another part of Ireland than everyone elese, he must be living in clould cuckko land).

With many thanks to: Maeve Connolly, The Irish News.

WINKIE TO STAY ON COP BOARD

ULSTER’S top cops and their bosses stand accused of being ‘hood Winkied’ – yet again.

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Wee Willie Winkey

The latest row erupted after last Thursday’s meeting of the Policing Board for Northern Ireland. For weeks, the Sunday World has been asking the Board if Winston ‘Winkie’ Irvine, the top UVF Commander in the Woodvale area of North-West Belfast, was an appropriate person to be serving on a District Policing and Community Partnership. Our queries came after a catalogue of incidents, and after a BBC Spotlight programme which, literally, put Winkie Irvine and his UVF role in the spotlight. The Policing Board kept knocking back our queries. They said they would make their decision on Irvine public at Thursday’s ‘public’ meeting. Well, we had to go to them on Friday to ask what their verdict was. And we can reveal that Irvine WILL remain on the North Belfast Policing and Community Safety Partnership despite his UVF links. Last night, that left the SDLP, and their justice spokesman, barrister Alban Maginness, calling for anyone connected with paramilitaries to be ‘weeded out’ of anything to do with policing, and the Policing Board, in the North of Ireland. In their belated statement issued to the Sunday World on Friday, the Policing Board said of Irvine’s membership of the Policing Board and Community Partnership:– “The Policing Board considered the case at its March Meeting and decided that the PCSP Member’s circumstances do not require (Irvine’s) removeal from office” The Sunday World has previously asked the Policing Board why their reveiw was taking so long, to which they replied: “The reveiw is being progressed in line with the Board’s procedure and will be completed in due course.”

Decision

SDLP MLA Alban Maginness described how he was saddened at the decision: “It’s very disappointing that the Policing Board have arrived at this decision whenever it is generally perceived in the public mind that a member of the partnership has strong associations with a paramilitary organisition. “Surely this is unacceptable given the sensitivities around policing and community safety in north Belfast.” He added: “The Policing Board and the Department of Justice must now look at the representation on the Partnership Boards very carefully in the near future in order to weed out those who are associated with or who are members of paramilitary organisations or other organisations which would bring policing into disrepute. “Clearly the Policing Board hasn’t the power at this moment in time to robustly deal with this situation, but it must get this power in the near future.”

With many thanks to: Jamie McDowell, the Sunday World.

Taxi driver given ban for throwing men out of cab

‘An apology would have been better. If anything I hope it raises awareness of the Irish in Glasgow - Anthony Blair.

A GLASGOW taxi driver had his licence suspended for throwing two men out of his cab for speaking Irish.

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• ‘GOOD OUTCOME’: Anthony Blair

Alan McKinnon has been banned for a month and must complete a customer courtesy course after the hearing in Glasgow. Mr McKinnon, from the Bridgeton area of the city, appeared before Glasgow City Council’s licensing commitee earlier this week. The hearing related to an incident on December 16 when Donegal brothers, Anthony (20) and Joseph (22) Blair from Gweedore, were visiting their grandmother in the city. The pair, who were with their cousin Kathleen McAleer, who is from Glasgow, got into a cab in the early hours. The Hampden Cars driver claimed at the hearing that the exchange came about when one of the group began to chant “There’s Only One Glasgow Celtic’. He claimed that when he asked for the chanting to stop, one of the passenger’s said: “You must be a Hun then?” The driver said he replied: “Thats right, I’m a Hun” at which point the two brother’s began to speak in Irish prompting him to ask them to stop.

According to the passengers, Mr McKinnon told them “well, when you’re in Britain it’s English that’s spoken”.The driver then ordered the four passengers out leaving them at the side of the road at 1am. A complaint was lodged with the council’s taxi enforcement unit and referred to the licensing committee. During the hearing, Euan Robertson, a lawyer acting for Mr McKinnon, said his client beleived the pair were “plotting” and only removed them from the cab as they would not stop speaking Irish. The committee suspended his driver’s licence for a month and ordered him to complete a customer courtesy course. Speaking after the committee hearing student teacher Anthony Blair described the outcome as “good” and said he was pleased to see the driver had been asked to undergo the course. “I was not looking for anybody to lose their job or anything like that,” the Gweedore man said. “An apology would have been better. If anything I hope it raises awareness of the Irish in Glasgow.”

With many thanks to: Maire Louise McCrory, The Irish News.

Shame Fein Councilor Michael McIvor calls victims of suicide ‘Death Wanters’

RESIGN NOW!

” I was going to say more on suicide during that other debate but some got a wee bit emotional and I am not that Insensitive so I decided to say no more on the subject in case half of youse topped yourselves” - Michael McIvor, Shame Fein.

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I’M ALREADY LOW ON NEW YEAR OPTIMISM

“Seen this in The Sunday (lies) World and had to repost”.

IN A couple of days we’ll be taking down the decosions, locking up the 12-year-old Scotch malt that’s only brought out at Christmas and contemplating another year!!!

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The New Year is traditionally a time for optimism, sadly down the years ours has been wasted and without wishing to be a seasonal grump I’m not sure how long our optimism can take it. We’re getting used to being let down, but you have to hope don’t you? Things have to change eventually so why not in 2014. First thing that needs to change is the Chief Constable. Matt (maggot) Baggott has an unenviable task as head of the PSNI/RUC but he has shown he is simply not up to the job, whether its because of political pressure, his failure to handle the UVF has been spectacular. He was ill advised to have attended the PUP conference as the keynote speaker last year but he clearly can’t learn from his mistakes. With the UVF orchestrating night after night of street violence as the fleg protests swung into action the PSNI’s/RUC softly softly approach simply handed control of the streets to the terror group. His officers were expected to stand on the front line and take a battering – night after night – and when the PSNI/RUC did a deal allowing the UVF to police their own parades it was confirmation that the lunatics really had taken over the asylum. And if that wasn’t bad enough he insisted the UVF’s ceasefire remains intact, despite more than 30 murders since they claimed they put their guns beyond use and more recently the attemped murder of Jemma McGrath in East Belfast.

Excuse

293290_171098439636605_1085904647_nIn the wider context we need the Orange Order to wise up. The outside world looks in and wonders what these strange wee men in bowler hats and collarettes are all about. Their intolerance and open hatred of all things Catholic is hard for anyone to grasp. And accommodating tolerant Orange Order would, in one fell swoop, disarm all those who want to see it condemned to the history books. The Order gives bigots an excuse, take it away and they fall. On the other side of the house the Shinners must be hoping that Gerry Adams‘ (pedo protector) closet isn’t any bigger. With the number of skeletons already out it resembles the Tardis! The Shame Fein president has been left damaged by his continued denial of IRA membership, allegations of involvement in the abduction and murder of Jean McConville refuse to go away and his handling of sex abuse claims levelled against his brother further wrecked his creditability. He is fast becoming a leader in name only – people simply don’t trust him anymore. Maybe 2014 will be a time the Shinners started looking for a new star. It’s not asking much but if we manage to secure these changes and the North of Ireland manage to win the match 2014 mightn’t be too bad.

With many thanks to: Richard Sullivan, The Sunday World.

TWELFTH SAGA GETS ONLINE COMEDY TREATMENT !!!

The social and political chaos surrounding the Twelfth has become a comedy goldmine for internet satiristsBrendan Hughes looks at the lighthearted online reaction to the North’s volatile parading season.

THE news this week has been dominated by the Twelfth and its violent aftermath. But amid the alarming scenes of disorder on the streets and heated political debate at Stormont, many people have managed to see the funny side.

Loyalists Against Demacracy (LAD)

Events surrounding the Twelfth have provided an irresistible abundance of material crying out to be mocked and parodied. And most of this northern satire has devoloped online, through social networking websites. From flag protester Willie Frazer‘s latest arrest to the towering loyalist bonfires, Facebook and Twitter users have eagerly made light of the north’s annual parading season problems. One picture of a Twelfth rioter being flushed from atop a police Land Rover by water cannon has become a mini internet sensation, wwith numerous different parodies. ‘Loyalists Against Democracy’ (LAD), which was set up late last year during the Union Flag protests in Belfast, pictured above, is one of the north’s most popular satirical Facebook pages with more than 3,000 followers. Its team of voluntary contributors have entertained a poster for a fake electronic cigerette called the ‘e-fleg’, which enables loyalists to “display their Britishness” with “a harmless vapour”.

They also created pictures of Egyptian pyrmid-sizes bonfires and Willie Frazer superimposed into a poster from the TV show Breaking Bad. “People have accused us of inventing Willie Frazer because they think he’s an actor that we hire. He’s a great comic creation,” said a Belfast-based contributor to the Facebook page, who did not wish to be named. “The Twelfth has provided too much am

munition almost. There’s too much to keep up with.” Derry-based satirical Facebook page ‘Pure Derry’, which has more than 14,000 followers, created an image for the Twelfth showing William of Orange driviking a forklift in front of a bonefire. “The whole concept of shifting tyres and pallets I just find incredibly amusing,” the page’s creator and main contributor said. “The reaction has been great. It’s so specialised that it’s a very quirky sense of humour.” Comedian and prominent Twitter user Jake O’Kane gained hundreds of new Twitter followers during the Twelfth due to his tweets. “The problem with being a political satirist in the North of Ireland is that you just have to open the paper and repeat what is said. It’s farcical,” he said. O’Kane said social media has allowed many more people to get involved in political satire. “With social media now everybody can be a political satirist, or try to be,” he said. “It has been opened up a lot more so it seems that it has exploded but it has always been there in the background. “The nice thing about it is that there would be people who wouldn’t have the b***s to go up on stage but they now have a voice.” But the Belfast-based comedian warned that some social networking attempts at satire can become childish and abusive. “If you look at a lot of of social media unfortunately it’s the lowest common denominator. It’s like any new technology, it’s as much abused as used,” he said.

With many thanks to : Brendan Hughes. The Irish News.

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PSNI SAY DON’T CALL THE POLICE IF YOUR BEING BURGLED GROW SPIKY PLANTS INSTEAD TO STOP BURGLARS !!!

‘ What we are trying to eencourage is actually using plants such as climbing roses, barbarous plants that have a high thorn content, so you can protect your property - Kenny McHugh.

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POLICE are advising homeowners to employ thorny plants to help deter burglars. Other practical tips contained in a new public information leaflet include laying gravel to hear intruders approach.

The PSNI explained to people in the Clooney Community Centre in Derry‘s Waterside the bbenefits of ‘defensive planting’ – flowers, shrubs and trees with sharp spines which would put off criminals. “What we are trying to encourage is actually using plants such as climbing roses, barbarous plants that have high thorn content, so you can protect your property,” Kenny McHugh from the crime prevention branch said. “When you look at the value of property that’s actually stored in your shed, on average your talking about £1,200 up to £1,500. “That’s very attractive to a burglar.” The event on Thursday was used to launch a public information leaflet on defensive planting which will be made available across the North of Ireland.

It includes a ‘spike rating’ of the best plants. “Criminals do not like climbingthrough prickly plants and hedges,” the leaflet says. “They know that a small item of ripped clothing or blood can help the police identify them.” Horticulturist Gareth Austin, who helped to develop the leaflet, said the response has been very positive. “A lot of what we’re covering is common-sense but it’s simple things that make the difference. “I’ve had tools go missing on me before and at £30 for a spade it all adds up. “All of my own tools are both visibly marked with UV ink.” The leaflet also encourages homeowners to keep boundary fences and hedges low to “allow as much natural surveillance as possible from neighbours and passing pedrestrians and traffic”. The PSNI urged anyone who suspects garden crime to call their neighbourhood crime prevention officer on 0845 600 800.

With many thanks to : CActual McGuigan, The Irish News.

KELLY’S LAND ROVER RIDE SEEN AS MODEL BEHAVIOUR !

‘A couple of politicians…. have already dropped me messages saying they think it’s class - Gareth Hutchinson.

SINN Fein MLA Gerry Kelly‘s run in with a police Land Rover has been recreated as a collectable miniature model. Model Shop Belfast made the inch-tall model after the North Belfast assembly member was filmed clinging to the front of a PSNI vehicle at Friday’s loyalist Tour of the North parade.

The store has since received dozens of orders after posting a picture of the ‘Gerry Kelly special edition’ model on Facebook. Manager Gareth Hutchinson said several politicians have contacted the shop to congratulate him on recreating the incident in miniaturised form. “It was literally put up on Facebook as a bit of a laugh and not expecting any response at all. But it has went through the roof. The response has been fantastic,” the 34-year-old said. Mr Hutchinson, from Belfast, spent most of Sunday creating the model after seeing news reports of the Tour of the North parade.

Shinner Man

He painted a plastic Hornsby figure – the size of a five pence piece – to match North Belfast MLA Mr Kelly’s clothing. He then attached it to the front of a white-metal model of a Penman police vehicle, normally sold as a construction kit at around £20. Model Shop Belfast, based at Boucher Retail Park, sells a range of models of police vehicles used in the north. Mr Hutchinson posted a picture of the model with Mr Kelly on Facebook on Monday evening where it was veiwed by more than 40,000 internent useers. “It was a bit of a joke but last night there were lots of orders for the Land Rovers themselves and people were attaching emails asking for the figures,” he said. “A couple of politicians who will remain nameless have already dropped me messages saying they think it’s class.

With many thanks to : Brendan HughesIrish News.

London bar’s ‘Sundae, Bloody Sundae’ cocktail causes uproar | BreakingNews.ie

London bar’s ‘Sundae, Bloody Sundae’ cocktail causes uproar | BreakingNews.ie.

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